How is it that you only find things at the last place you looked for them?

Friday, July 28, 2006

Only Because We Have Promises To Keep And Vaginas To Bleed


The Jun is fond of oneginas, well who isn't. And he has priapism to worry about! Now onto the sexual innuendo route that I shall take to make this blog an interesting read for you sick minds, this happens to be our 13th time and let me assure you the sex is still good. We still have fun *twinkle in the eye*

Blogging is just like a marriage, you need nurture it (oh wipe those tears off, Oprah!), you need to adjust and fine tune and work your way through to a happy and fulfilling relationship!

You also need to bribe the worse half with obscene amounts of chocolate to write and you dare not have mindless issues (psst, Women's lib, someone needs help!) in getting bullied into shamelessly plugging the blog. Ya, we have been the 'ok tata (w)hore please' variety!

Now a quick and spritely jump onto the next topic to appease the annoying thought germ crawling in my pinky, or was it brain?

So I am going to ask another one of those useless rhetorical questions: What is that one thing that makes you behave the way you do (crotch itch doesn't count here)? As in, is it the sand or is it weather or is it just your sad existance in this vast cosmos where all you can look forward to is reading a few thoughts on pathology, scatology and world piss (overdone joke and yet funnay as hell!) dished out to you crassly by 2 retarded imbeciles with the mental faculties of an evil genius trapped in his laboratory for seven, that's right seven long minutes.

I've run enough for my pinky today, time for the Jun to hypnotise you into believing plugging our blog is the best use you can put your worthless life to.


What is this picture really about?

If you look at it carefully, you will realise that it's about much more than four hungry, deprived SEC A1+ children at McDonalds. Oh no, it's about much more than that. It's about cruelty to animal(e)s. And world peace. "Why?" you dare to ask. After reprimanding you for your impudence, I direct your flailing attention to the happy meanl toy lying carefully wrapped in a semi-ball like plastic holding device. "Where?! Where?!" Next to the fifth Coke from the left, or the first Coke from the right you ninny. See it now? It's a lizard like creature. Wrapped in plastic. Can you even begin to understand what that means? It means that while you're shaving the hair off your schlong to make it look bigger, you aren't realising the damage that huge corporations are causing to endangered animals like the iguanamadeupbullcrapnomenclature smooshedupwordus lizard. You're no better than the four uncaring boys in the photograph. Just look at the face of the boy on the right. Look at the anticipation on his face as he waits to sink his teeth into his third juicy, tender, Mayonaissey McChicken burger.

It's about world peace because I say so.

But what is really the problem with the world today, is the total, and I mean completely up-to-the-brim-can't-take-anymore-can't-breathe-help-someone-beeeep-ECG-stops total lack of interest shown by certain professors in improving the grades of obviously revolutionary Dissertation Concept Notes. I mean, what the eff! Screw the world, I'll make it on my own as a travelling circus monkey. Or I'll just be content with a goddamn B-. Die devil bird.

(etymology - "to the loo". Commonly used by energetic youth who suddenly have to stop interesting conversation because of the urgency ensured by wetting their undergarments. For no fault of their own of course.)


Blogger Smellygator said...


11:25 AM

Blogger JLS said...

dimwits we are ma!!

6:11 AM

Blogger JLS said...

lets burn more than jus one red strap designer bra!! hee ho

6:13 AM

Blogger clueless comrades said...

Well sana... what can i say..

Havent read anythin like this for a looooong time...


9:47 AM

Blogger clueless comrades said...

Well sana... what can i say..

Havent read anythin like this for a looooong time...


9:48 AM

Blogger Beau Peep said...

It made a lot of sensible nonsense to read this post.

11:23 PM


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